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Listening..... the lost art!
There's one thing that I figured out at quite an early age …
if a person was talking … they weren't learning !
and therefore a person could learn more by listening, than by talking !
Now that would seem quite basic, yet by observation few seem to realise or practise this simple fact. Many people, if they aren't talking, then they are thinking about what to say next, and not really listening to the other person, just waiting for their next chance to speak.
And so the art of listening is diminished and wanes.
And with some the bad habit of talking over another's conversation, of interrupting, of being so keen to resume talking that others are cut off … which to me anyways shows disrespect of the other person.
Someone observed that ... we have been given 2 ears, but only 1 mouth, and that we should use them in the proportion in which they have been given. Alas, seldom so !
Talkers generally reign … and gain prominence … just listen in to Parliament, or to a Real Estate salesman, or to an Insurance salesman, or a used car salesman, or any other sales person for that matter … and these days the phone media salespersons that abound … there goes that phone ringing yet again !
Talk, chatter, gabble, with as few pauses as possible, and always as fast as possible … the faster the better !
And so the art of listening wanes, in this mad-cap society, with the emphasis on having your own needs met, and ones own 'rights'
And loneliness can result, as people 'switch off' from others talking.
We all have a need 'to know and be known' that is basic to our inner well-being.
Close friends LISTEN, and emphasise with us.
Listening, like any other skill, is an art that has to be cultivated.
Empathy takes EFFORT
The main ingredient of any type of counselling is simply, first of all … to LISTEN
And to listen to what the other person isn't saying … to detect the unspoken need, and what is being avoided.
The first principle of listening would have to be ... to be interested in the other person …
to be interested enough to s t o p and l i s t e n to them.
To actually interrupt your own private world, and take an interest in someone else … to pause, pay attention, and just L I S T E N
So then,my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; James 1:19
And exactly the same thing in the spiritual world ..
To take time to listen to God, amid lifes pace, clamour and pressures – to pause and ask ourselves “what is God trying to say to me in this situation ?”
Jesus said it so well … my sheep HEAR MY VOICE and they follow ME John 10:27
Its often easier to pray than to stop and listen to what God may be trying to say to us !
Prayer should be a 2 way thing - listening as well as talking and asking … and that after praise and thanksgiving. Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name. Psalm 100:4
Keep silence before Me, O coastlands, And let the people renew their strength!
Let them come near, then let them speak; Let us come near together for judgment. Isaiah 41:1
Jesus advised … If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear.”
Then He said to them, “Take heed what you hear. With the same measure you use, it will be measured to you; and to you who hear, more will be given. Mark 4:23, 24
The principle applies …
Praying is easier than waiting on God and listening to his quite 'still small' voice 1 Kings 19:12
which is probably why God often has to speak during the night … just ask Samuel … speak Lord, your servant HEARS 1 Samuel 3:10
and to Joseph in dreams Genesis 37:5, 9
Compare Martha to Mary who simply sat at Jesus feet and L I S T E N E D while her diligent sister was soooo busy … there's a time and place for each ! Luke 10:39
Someone said that … “if the devil cant make you bad he will make you busy” !
“They also serve who only stand and wait “ John Milton
Royalty have their 'ladies in waiting ' ... those who know the art of just 'being there ' for whatever the Queen may desire … and we likewise are the servants of the King of Kings
The best kept spiritual secret is the value of just waiting on God !
Truly my soul silently waits for God; From Him comes my salvation.
My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him. Psalm 62:1, 5
O God of my salvation; on you do I wait all the day. Psalm 25:5
I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning: I say, more than they that watch for the morning. Psalm 130 : 5, 6
But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31
and as always theres a consequence for NOT doing so !! Isaiah 66:4
Therefore turn to your God: keep mercy and judgment and wait on your God continually. Hosea 12:6
So, next time you meet someone, pause, take a deep breath, and SHUT UP awhile
and L I S T E N and try to discern what they are not saying … their inner need
and you will both enrich someone elses life as well as your own !
IT WORKS !
to finish where we started …. “a person learns more by listening, than by talking” !
A recent book that my wife particularly has so enjoyed
and keeps re-reading it over and over again FREEDOM DAIRIES by Mark Holloway |
